Colleen Ballinger’s toxic gossip train won’t stop chugging on

The YouTuber apology video is an artwork type. A penitent creator have to be remorseful, however not theatrical. Concise, however not rehearsed. Sincere, however not defensive. Above all, an apology video can’t be memeable, or it’ll by no means be taken critically. 

Colleen Ballinger’s apology saga, nonetheless, might be probably the most memorable in YouTube historical past as a result of it simply retains getting worse. 

Representatives for Ballinger, who constructed a loyal following of younger viewers because the satirical and sometimes offensive character Miranda Sings, are actually denying claims that she filed copyright infringement claims on movies reacting to her ukulele apology track. 

The track, during which Ballinger addresses allegations of fostering inappropriate and exploitative relationships together with her teenage followers, is among the most absurd makes an attempt at apologizing ever documented on-line. The followers coming ahead accuse Ballinger of sending them unsolicited nudes of one other creator to make enjoyable of her physique, utilizing her group chat of underage followers as on-call emotional assist all through her divorce, exploiting and humiliating minors throughout her reside reveals and above all, abusing the facility dynamic between herself and her followers. 

Her response? A track concerning the “poisonous gossip practice” — an agonizing 10-minute lyrical automobile crash that dismisses the allegations as misinformation fueled by the “mob mentality” of the web. 

“Everybody simply believes that you’re the kind of one that manipulates and abuses youngsters. I simply wished to say that the one factor I’ve ever groomed is my two Persian cats,” Ballinger croons. “I’m not a groomer, only a loser who didn’t perceive I shouldn’t reply to followers. And I’m not a predator, regardless that quite a lot of you suppose so, as a result of 5 years in the past I made a fart joke.” 

It’s a large number. Right here’s what’s happening.

Who’s Colleen Ballinger? 

Colleen Ballinger, 36, began posting YouTube movies as Miranda Sings in 2008. “Miranda” is a self-obsessed younger girl who’s obsessive about stardom, regardless of her incapability to truly sing. The character, who wears shiny pink lipstick and has a speech obstacle, is egotistical, socially awkward and largely blind to present occasions. 

Ballinger’s musical parodies as Miranda turned a viral sensation, and at her peak she had roughly 19 million YouTube subscribers between her private channel and her Miranda Sings channel. Her movies consisted of vlogs (each as Colleen and as Miranda), trending YouTube challenges, satirical vocal classes and off-key covers of pop songs. Ballinger was notably standard with youngsters, and featured different children’ creators like JoJo Siwa and Sophia Grace Brownlee on her channel. 

As Miranda, she typically made jokes about pedophilia, incest and racially insensitive stereotypes — in movies, Miranda would reference the “Daddy Saddle,” an object that allowed her to journey round on her “Uncle Jim.” Affinity Journal criticized the character for mocking disabled folks and perpetuating dangerous stereotypes about disabilities. In 2020, she apologized for impersonating Latina girls in a since-deleted video together with her sister. 

She additionally frequently toured as Miranda, performing reside selection reveals mixing comedy and music. Ballinger was in the course of a nationwide tour final month when former followers alleged that she had inappropriate and exploitative relationships with them after they had been minors. Within the aftermath of her apology video, the remaining tour dates had been quietly canceled, NBC Information reported. 

The primary wave of allegations 

In a 2020 YouTube video, then-17-year-old Adam McIntyre stated that he had been ghostwriting a few of Ballinger’s tweets as her “social media intern” with out pay, and alleged that she had abused her energy as a creator to foster inappropriate relationships together with her younger followers. 

He stated that the connection began when he was 13 years outdated, and that at one level, Ballinger despatched him lingerie. In 2017 and 2018, Ballinger instructed him that Miranda Sings wasn’t doing effectively “as a result of she couldn’t actually be problematic because the character anymore,” McIntyre stated in his video, and that she ultimately requested him for assist with rebranding the character.

He started suggesting social media concepts for each Miranda Sings and Ballinger’s private accounts, and she or he gave him entry to the Miranda Sings Twitter account in March 2020. In screenshots McIntyre shared in his video, Ballinger instructed him that she wasn’t “planning on taking benefit” of his assist and supposed to pay him. 

That month, McIntyre urged that Miranda ought to “come out” as a Meghan Coach fan — which Ballinger authorised over direct message. When she acquired backlash for “queerbaiting,” nonetheless, she instructed McIntyre that she would “by no means put up one thing like that.” She by no means responded to McIntyre after that, and allegedly by no means paid him. 

Ballinger responded in a video titled “addressing the whole lot.” She admitted to sending McIntyre a bra and underwear in 2016, and stated she believed it was “no completely different” than the opposite gadgets she despatched followers “as a joke.” Ballinger additionally stated that she was breastfeeding her son when she authorised the Megan Trainor tweet. 

“This was my fault. He despatched me a really lengthy record of a ton of various issues he wished to put up and I didn’t look over it carefully sufficient,” Ballinger stated. 

Grooming allegations resurface 

In June, YouTuber Kodee Tyler Dahl, 33, posted a now-deleted video about why they left Ballinger’s fandom, and shared screenshots of a Twitter chat referred to as “colleeny’s weenies group chat.” 

The group chat was for the choose inside circle of Ballinger’s followers, most of whom had been minors, to instantly discuss to Ballinger herself. The messages Ballinger despatched had been extremely inappropriate. In a single responding to then-15-year-old McIntyre’s request for inquiries to reply in a YouTube Q&A video, Ballinger requested, “Are you a Virgin?” She was in her 30s by then. In one other, McIntyre instructed the group chat that his “ass appears good right now.” Ballinger responded with “pics adam.”

Days later, McIntyre posted an hour and 45 minute video titled “my relationship with colleen ballinger” corroborating Dahl’s allegations. He shared screenshots of interactions within the group chat that he and different members saved, together with certainly one of Ballinger asking him what his favourite intercourse place was. In one other, she requested the ladies within the chat to inform her about their first time getting their intervals. 

“She would simply are available randomly and keep stuff like that,” McIntyre stated within the video. “To lots of people who had been underaged.”

Ballinger handled the group chat of youngsters as her confidants, and shared private particulars about her divorce from YouTuber Joshua Evans. She instructed the “weenies” that Evans was “emotionally abusive” — an allegation that Evans denied in an interview with HuffPost. Ballinger publicly referred to as on her followers to stay respectful to Evans, however by no means discouraged group chat members from attacking him in social media feedback and on gossip boards.

One other former fan, Johnny Silvestri, got here ahead the identical week in a video titled “There’s Extra to the Story (my expertise with Colleen Ballinger).” Silvestri, who was not a part of the “weenies” chat, accused Ballinger of making the most of her followers’ labor. His relationship with Ballinger began after he attended a Miranda Sings present when he was 16, and Ballinger’s then-husband Evans gave him his private cellphone quantity on stage. 

By 2018, when he was 22, Ballinger employed Silvestri as an assistant on her tour. He was paid $125 per present. He accused Ballinger’s shut buddy and collaborator Kory DeSoto of bullying him all through the tour, which Ballinger knew of however didn’t cease, and stated that Evans exploited the friendship he began with Silvestri without cost assist working his social media accounts. Silvestri additionally stated that Ballinger made merciless jokes about her followers and inspired him to hitch in on the trolling. In a single message she despatched Silvestri, she mocked a fan for altering her gender pronouns. 

“I discovered solace and security on this on-line group of individuals,” Silvestri instructed Rolling Stone. “And these grown-ass adults abused it.”

Evans has since publicly apologized to Silvestri, and in a tweet posted after Silvestri’s video, acknowledged that he “failed” at being a “buddy and web large brother.” 

Silvestri additionally accused Ballinger of sending him unsolicited nudes of YouTuber Trisha Paytas in messages mocking Paytas’ physique, and shared screenshots of the messages in now-deleted tweets. 

Ballinger allegedly despatched Paytas’ express content material to McIntyre, who was a minor on the time, as effectively. In a video titled “expensive trisha paytas…,” McIntyre accused Ballinger of shopping for subscriptions to Paytas’ paywalled websites, downloading her express content material, and sending it to him when he was 14. McIntyre stated he was initially reluctant to talk out about it till he related with Silvestri. 

Silvestri alleged that Ballinger hosted “viewing events” of Paytas’ express content material to be able to make enjoyable of her physique. McIntyre equally alleged that Ballinger inspired him to physique disgrace Paytas. 

Paytas, who can also be an OnlyFans creator and vocal about intercourse work, posted a response titled “colleen.” She and Ballinger turned pals by bonding over being new moms, and had simply launched a podcast collectively. Paytas stated that Ballinger denied the allegations when instantly requested, and that Paytas didn’t imagine the previous followers till she noticed the screenshots shared on-line. She described the messages as barbaric, misogynistic and “downright merciless” and stated that the podcast she co-hosted with Ballinger is over after simply three episodes. 

“We have already got quite a lot of stigma, misconceptions, allegations towards us as intercourse employees … I don’t condone in any respect unsolicited nudes, sending unsolicited nudes to anyone. Intercourse employee or not, I believe utilizing somebody’s nudes as a strategy to damage them, make enjoyable of them, make gentle of them or be imply is the bottom type of human,” Paytas stated within the video. 

She added that the content material Ballinger despatched to followers is paywalled for a motive, and that viewers have to be at the least 18 to entry it. 

Viewers interactions 

Different followers spoke out concerning the uncomfortable interactions that they had onstage throughout Ballinger’s reside reveals. 

Her reveals typically included a “porn bit” and “yoga bit” which used volunteers from the viewers. Within the “porn bit,” Ballinger (in character as Miranda) would choose a fan carrying skimpy clothes and evaluate them to a fan dressed extra modestly. The fan carrying extra revealing clothes was “porn,” Ballinger would declare. For the “yoga bit,” Ballinger would try troublesome, borderline sexual poses with an viewers member. 

Becky, a Twitter and TikTok consumer who goes by noitsbecks, posted that she was chosen for the “yoga bit” at a 2019 Miranda Sings present. She was 16 on the time. In the course of the present, Ballinger had Becky lay on her again, whereas she held up Becky’s legs and unfold them in entrance of the viewers. Becky, who wore a free romper that didn’t keep up in the course of the pose, stated she felt “terrified” and sexually violated. She additionally stated she felt unsafe leaving the present due to the way in which she was uncovered on stage. She posted a photograph from the present on Twitter.

“Colleen exploited my minor physique for leisure and cash and didn’t shield my security at this present,” Becky stated in a TikTok video. “As an out of doors trying into the state of affairs, it might seem to be this wasn’t an enormous deal. However this was actually fairly scary for my teenage self, particularly as somebody who cherished and appeared as much as Colleen.” 

Different former followers spoke out about Ballinger’s “seek for a bae” bit, which concerned Miranda stuffing the entrance of her pants with a bag of cheese balls, and alluring viewers members to seize the snack. In resurfaced movies on YouTube and Reddit, Ballinger carried out the act with youngsters as younger as six. 

Different controversies 

Sure, there’s extra! 

YouTubers who’ve been round because the platform’s earliest days typically have unsavory, insensitive content material of their archives. Comedy has developed over the previous couple of a long time, and the crass humor that was excusable years in the past might be fairly offensive. However Ballinger’s jokes had been particularly racist, and as clips of her outdated content material resurface in wake of the allegations towards her, many on-line query how she managed to stay round for therefore lengthy within the first place. 

An unlisted video on her Miranda Sings channel reveals Ballinger performing a parody of Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” on stage, with a darkish paint smeared throughout her face. Twitter customers questioned whether or not she was performing in blackface. The video, which was posted in 2018, seems to be a recording from Ballinger’s 2010 tour in London, based on YouTuber Paige Christie. The one strategy to discover the video was by scanning a QR code in her 2018 e book “My Diarrhe.” 

Ballinger’s authorized representatives instructed Selection that she was carrying inexperienced face paint, not black, and that earlier than the recording began, Ballinger carried out the quantity “As Lengthy as You’re Mine” from “Depraved.” She painted her face inexperienced to mimic the protagonist, Elphaba, in her duet with Oliver Tompsett, who starred within the musical’s unique London solid. 

However different outdated clips aren’t so simply defined. 

In her parody of the Korean pop track “Gangnam Fashion,” Ballinger recited gibberish combined with Japanese phrases like “tamogatchi” in a vaguely East Asian accent. In another offensive caricature — this time trying to mimic Native American cultures — she wears a feathered headdress and speaks in gibberish in a reenactment of the primary Thanksgiving. 

April Quioh, a author who labored on Ballinger’s temporary Netflix sequence “Haters Again Off,” described working with Ballinger as “so, so uncomfortable” in a latest e-newsletter. Ballinger would typically pitch scenes that concerned Miranda and Uncle Jim getting caught in “compromising positions or stomach-churning intimacy,” Quioh wrote, and she or he would attempt to shove “as a lot incestual innuendo into the present as attainable whereas assuaging the rising behind-the-scenes considerations that the present could be alienating to the supposed viewers” of youngsters. 

Quioh additionally alleges that Ballinger insisted that the present solid “restricted POC background actors” because it was set in Washington, and as soon as demanded that “all of the Asian shit” could be faraway from a scene filmed in an Asian grocery store. Ballinger as soon as bragged that she would by no means be “silly sufficient” to get caught saying a racial slur, Quioh continued. Quioh identified that Ballinger stated the racial slur itself on this boast. 

“It was virtually like she took a bizarre pleasure in making me uncomfortable and understanding that even when I wished to, there was completely nothing I may do about it,” Quioh wrote. 

The apology video 

Ballinger responded to the allegations in a June 28 video, which began together with her sighing, reaching out of body and selecting up a ukulele. Then, she started strumming a cheery tune. 

“Lots of people are saying issues about me that aren’t fairly true,” Ballinger stated over the chords. “But it surely doesn’t matter if it’s true, although, so long as it’s entertaining. All aboard!” 

She then started singing concerning the “poisonous gossip practice” — a hook that returns over and over all through the 10-minute video. Her group suggested her towards saying something concerning the allegations, she continued, however they didn’t inform her she couldn’t sing. 

She acknowledged that she could have “overshared” with followers, however accused her critics of making an attempt to destroy her life by dramatizing lies and profiting off of the backlash. 

“I didn’t notice that each one of you might be excellent, so please criticize me, convey out the daggers out of your excellent previous, and stab me repeatedly in my bony little again,” Ballinger continued. “I’m positive you’re upset in my shitty little track. I do know you need me to say I used to be 100% within the incorrect. Properly, I’m sorry I’m not gonna take that route, of admitting to lies and rumors that you just made up for clout.” 

The video instantly went viral for example of the worst attainable strategy to apologize. Screenshots from the video turned response memes. Clips circulated on TikTok. YouTubers posted response movies breaking down the track’s comically flippant lyrics. 

Evans, who stopped posting on YouTube a couple of yr in the past, responded on Twitter. 

“This habits was my actuality anytime I spoke up & disagreed together with her actions & rhetoric throughout 2009-2016. I used to be gaslit too. I used to be made to really feel like I used to be all the time the issue,” he wrote. “Any ache I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Each ounce of what you’re feeling, I perceive.” 

Quickly after Ballinger posted the apology track, sure YouTube movies that included clips of the track had been flagged for copyrighted materials. The track was additionally uploaded to Spotify and Apple Music. It has since been faraway from all streaming platforms. 

YouTuber and H3H3 Podcast host Ethan Klein tweeted that the track “Poisonous Gossip Prepare” was uploaded to the music distributor CD Child, and {that a} latest H3H3 episode discussing the apology was tagged for income sharing with the copyright holder. 

One other Twitter consumer stated that their Roblox video that used the track was additionally flagged. YouTuber JabroneyTV tweeted that they uploaded the apology video on an unmonetized channel, and instantly acquired a copyright strike. 

Twitter customers speculated that Ballinger was both making an attempt to close down criticism by copyright claiming movies reacting to the track, or that she was making an attempt to revenue by getting a reduce of advert income from each monetized video that features the track. 

Representatives for Ballinger disputed rumors that she was behind the copyright claims in an announcement to BuzzFeed Information. They didn’t reply to TechCrunch’s requests for remark. 

What’s subsequent?

Ballinger has not posted publicly on any of her social media accounts since importing her apology track. 

When creators put up a Notes App apology, they’ll probably proceed current on-line with few, if any, actual repercussions. If the offending motion is so egregious that it requires an apology video, creators have a tendency to put low for an period of time, earlier than slowly rising from their disgrace den with extra content material. 

James Charles, for instance, has been relentlessly pushing ahead together with his comeback into magnificence content material after apologizing, coming again and apologizing once more for inappropriately texting underage followers. Shane Dawson, who left each the web and California after outdated racist movies resurfaced in 2020, is again on YouTube and moved again to Los Angeles. Sienna Mae, who allegedly sexually assaulted her former buddy and fellow Hype Home member Jack Wright, is again on TikTok regardless of the warmth she acquired for her notorious interpretative dance apology video.

Few really keep offline — Jenna Marbles, the YouTuber who referred to as out her personal racist movies in 2020 in an effort to carry herself accountable, is among the solely creators who adopted via. 

Ballinger’s apology was performative, defensive and all too simply become meme fodder. Like different disgraced creators, she’ll must maintain a low profile. Whether or not she’ll really have the ability to make a comeback, contemplating the allegations that proceed to pile up towards her and absolutely the absurdity of apologizing by way of ukulele, is questionable. What’s sure, nonetheless, is that in an ever-growing historical past of YouTuber apologies, Ballinger’s video will all the time stand out as a cautionary story to creators: In case your group tells you to not say something, that’s not an excuse to sing it.